Preferred pronouns are not your friend

I thought you might want to know what using preferred pronouns was like for our family?

Back when this first started, our kids wanted us to use these new names and call them by the opposite sex. We were completely blindsided by the whole situation and didn't know what was going on and why our children were so unhappy and self harming.

The name situation is a whole other story but suffice to say it wasn't easy, lots of arguments and fighting, so we eventually compromised and allowed the school to use the other names as AKA. I went through phases of usinguses the other names. My husband never did. Currently, we stay grounded fully in reality and use their actual names and she/her.

We decided that we would not use their preferred pronouns, but unbeknownst to us, the school started using he/him.

The first time it happened, we were at the opticians. They were 10 and 11. They both went in on their own, and afterwards, the optician, while talking to us, used he and him all the way through. The kids found this highly amusing, giggling in the background, like they'd got one over on their parents at the behest of a professional. 

My stomach dropped, and my heart started pounding. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I think I was so shocked that I didn't correct her. Maybe if I had, things would have been different. I wish I'd cut things off at the pass.

The next time it happened, we were at the GP's. This time, I made sure to contact them afterwards to make sure things hadn't changed on their actual records. Thankfully, they hadn't.

Once we realised what was happening at school, I spent quite a long time trying to halt the wrong pronoun usage. We were ignored at first, and it took many, many emails with articles outlining the issue with what they were doing. Eventually, the pupil support teacher sent an email round retracting the use of he/him. The damage was already done by then, but I was thankful they had finally seen sense. Having the school complicit in pushing our children down the trans path is something I will never forgive them for.

Everywhere we went, my children were asked how they would like to be addressed. Our home was the only place in a sea of lies that was an island of reality. Being at home during the holidays provided respite from the gender madness at school, and things would settle down slightly, only to be upturned again once they were in an affirming environment. 

Our whole world has been turned upside down because so-called adults saw fit to obfuscate reality for my young children.

You might think it's respectful to use wrong pronouns, but as a parent to two confused children, let me tell you, you've brought a whole world of problems and nightmares at our door.