Days go by

For 4017 days I had a daughter who was sweet, funny, quirky, smart, articulate, interesting and inquisitive. 

The other 3997 she's thinks she's a boy. 

She had a brilliant sense of style and was allowed to choose her own clothes from a very young age. Granted her clothes were bought by me initially so lots were very very colourful and some were quite unique. I'd tell my kids that colours are for everyone. I love colourful and interesting clothes so buying for them was so cool to be able to do. She still had a favourite dress worn to threads (I've kept the rossette that was front and centre), she still loved wearing a Spanish dance dress that grandpa brought back one year, she still went through a phase of wearing only onesies for literally years and she still went through the teenage hoodie/joggies phase. The onesie phase had a number of battles which I decided not to pick. This phase went on the longest and if we weren't already suspecting autism, we ought to have been!

Then came the becoming trans identifying phase which involved the binder phase, the cutting phase and the suicidal phase.

Almost half her life has been overshadowed with mental health issues, suicidal ideation and delusional thinking that has been normalised in Scottish Society.  

What can a mother do 🤷‍♀️ except count the days we are still talking. 🙏