FOMODI

Stayed off X from last Friday until today and felt a massive rush of anxiety when I got back on. Almost a week and I suddenly felt like I needed to catch up and know everything I'd missed in case Scotland has decided to start protecting it's children better. I got massive anxiety that I might have missed some really vital piece of information that might help me with my children. It's FOMO but with added extra importance and dangers. Like fomodi, fear of missing out on desistance information.

I got instantly overwhelmed which made me angry and arsey. I managed to snark on a few posts before I had to hightail it out of there. 

I came off Facebook a year or so ago because I couldn't communicate on fufu fake facebook because so many had their heads in the sand over gender identity idewoogly and it was frustrating and upsetting being censored or ignored. I've tentatively come back to see what's what. I haven't changed and my families ongoing tragedies are still ongoing. Every response I initially have is painted and tainted with an idewoogly angle. Perhaps I should work on being more bookshine and facebows. 

For now X is going to have to remain more in the background. I only use it as a platform to show the parents side in this mess. Sometimes it's overwhelmingly soul destroying knowing all what's happening for our children around the world and feeling so impossibly useless. So I need to step back and create some boundaries a bit more. It's really hard. I have an all or nothing personality, finding balance has always been difficult.

I got such bad FOMO yesterday I impulsively bought tickets to Julie Bindels new lesbian book launch despite not even being a lesbian!!